


Breakfast and a Show - August 12, 2020

by banjo99



Series: Breakfast and a Show [44]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Podcast: Fanatical Fics and Where to Find Them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-12
Updated: 2020-08-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:14:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25859542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/banjo99/pseuds/banjo99
Series: Breakfast and a Show [44]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1762708
Kudos: 1





	Breakfast and a Show - August 12, 2020

"My Lord, Breakfast is served," Bellatrix said to Voldemort, calling into the darkened master bedroom in the Malfoy Manner.

Voldemort pulled on his morning robe and walked down to the breakfast dining room. He sat at the head of the table, and a house elf ran up, bringing him his breakfast tray.

"This looks delicious. Scrambled eggs with tiny bacon bits! My favorite!" Voldemort exclaimed.

He unhinged his jaw like a snake and shoved all of the food into his mouth and down his throat in one go.

Bellatrix came forward, "Was that to your liking, my lord?"

"Why yes, it was. Fantastic. Now to do evil things," Voldemort said.

"I DON'T THINK SO!" Harry Potter (CAPSLOCK MODE) exclaimed, bursting into the room, wielding his wand in one hand, a pipe in the other, and two swords on his back.

"Ah yes, the boy who lived...but not for very much long...UGH," Voldemort said, rising. As he stood and was finishing the sentence he knew something was terribly, terribly wrong. He doubled over in pain, his stomach feeling like molten lead was coating the inside, eating through him.

"What...did you do to me...." Voldemort said, his stomach gurgling so loudly Harry and Bella heard it from across the room.

Suddenly, Bellatrix morphed into Nymphadora Tonks!

"Oh we didn't do anything. I just took advantage of the power the Dark Lord knows not," Harry said.

"And what...is that?" Voldemort said, clutching his innards.

"Molly's Famous Chili Dogs! We shrunk them down, over three dozen of them, with a time-delayed expansion charm, and put them over your eggs," Harry said, smiling. Molly came out from the kitchen, grinning proudly.

"This...can't...defeat...." Voldemort started, but then suddenly he couldn't stop himself. The Dark Lord had an explosion...defecating so hard that all of his innards shot out, covering the rear wall of the breakfast dining room. The corpse of the Dark Lord fell to the ground, completely vacated of its contents. 

"What about the horcruxes?" Draco asked, coming out and putting his arm around Harry.

"Oh I took care of that," Molly Weasley said. "Just a simple addition to the recipe to draw his soul into his body at the time of ingesting my famous chili dogs!"

"My goodness, I thought Breakfast and a Show was limited to the Great Hall," Dumbledore said, having appeared after Tonks said his name 42 times.


End file.
